Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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