ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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