hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
