I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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