so explain again why im purple
no
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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