she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
