12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Then you guys just all showered together...?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
