What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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