Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
