I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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