he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
