so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
