Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Duck Duck Cougar?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Randomize
