I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
