dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
