thus making me awesome and them whores
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
