Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
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