Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
