If i come over, it means nothing
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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