Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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