she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
