I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
