Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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