Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
