Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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