i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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