I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
