I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
