So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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