We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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