it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
