Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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