Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the condom got lost in my hair
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
