Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
