she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
