4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
