that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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