so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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