don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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