they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
