I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I have fence marks all over my body
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
