Dual....:-)
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
