WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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