dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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