he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
