I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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