he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
