glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
