true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
