As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
a search helicopter?!
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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