I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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